Last Post of 2004???

What can I say about this harsh bitch-goddess of a year? She seemed more than willing to give with one hand and take with another. Ha. Or is it just me and my mere mortal point of view. Maybe 'there's nothing up in the sky but air' as the song from Hedwig says. 2004 wasn't the horrible misery of 2003. And it certainly wasn't bland like 2002 (was that even a real year -- that's like a JV year). My perfect picture for 2004 would be me shooting myself in the foot -- over and over and over again. Out of fear and stupidity. My hope is that I learn from this year - and keep myself from repeating the same mistakes (mistakes I've really been making for years, I suppose - it's just that in 2004 it all came to a head). Grow up, be a man, an adult, all that. It's a hard line for me to walk - I'm such a child - but I've got to try and walk it - or stumble through it (or run across the tightrope fast-as-I-can).
Now, my sister mentioned something on her blog about looking back at the things we like about 2004 (or ourselves) and to try and continue those things...

I've gotten better at managing money (granted I've only got 4.18 in my bank account). Tired of bouncing checks and paying fees - I set myself up with a caveman-like system I call "Envelopes". Get paid, direct deposit. That day take out all money for bills and put them in various Envelopes marked: RENT, GROCERIES, OUC, BRIGHTHOUSE and VERIZON....you get the idea. Then forget about this money until it's time to pay whatever bill comes around. The system is archaic but it works for me - no more 'money' floating out in the ether only to disappear when I need it most. And this next year I'm thinking of expanding the Envelopes to such esoteric subjects like: THE KITTY (aka RAINY DAY) and maybe THE IPOD. Also...Sid and Nancy, my landlords, now only get cashier's checks -- cause those bastards will hold onto a regular check, almost daring you to spend money from your account.

I'm proud (ugh - that's probably always going to be a weird feeling for me - pride in something) of the theatre work I did this year. Starting with Noises Off and ending with 1940s Radio Hour, this was a pretty busy year for me and my little hobby - a hobby that seems to consume more and more of my thoughts and time and energy (in a good way). Noises Off was one of my dream roles - I love that character and I just love that show and I hope some day that I can be in that show again. MSG taught me a lot about how I will allow myself to be treated by my director - and gave me the chance to be silly and pompous (and adapt my dialogue so that it might actually be funny). I kinda miss the Mozart wig - but not enough to reprise the role. The Rocky Horror Show - this I am most proud of. Isn't it funny that this blog started out as a rant about worrying about that show (and to be fair - the rehearsals WERE horrible). It's almost two different stories: The Rehearsal Horror Show and The Rocky Horror Show. But I'm so...proud...of the work that I did in that show. And I miss that cast terribly. My number one with a bullet reason for being involved with theatre has been to make new friends and I hit the jackpot with Rocky. And my 'old' friends - Sarah and Jeff - just - it was amazing to watch the two of them - two of the most important people in my life - shine so brightly. And then we have 1940s Radio Hour -- the show that taught me many lessons: Don't do a show around Christmas, too hectic - You have to love the material you're working with to do a show in Eustis, to make that drive worth it - and finally, if you surround yourself with people you love and trust, you can make it through any chaos any bullshit.

I can't think of something clever to end this post on. 'How's that working out for you? Being clever.'
I want nothing but good things for all of my family and friends and if, in some small way, I help create those things - I hope that I don't blink or hesitate.

As Mark, of Mark & Lorna fame says during the CHICAGO medly: "We're all gonna go to Hell. In a red car"
As Jeff says: Commit and execute
As my Dad says: I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy
As that lady in the Snickers commercial says: "Oh, along about noon - when your appetite's a poking at ya, poking at ya"
As David says: Never attribute to malice what you can blame on stupidity
As Amber says: That rules all over the world
As my Mom says: He use to spike it up
As Sarah says: Don't tickle me



So, that's it then, tidy up the year when you leave and turn out the lights. See you in January.