A Hard Quick One Up Against The Wall

I'm such a junkie for this stupid blog.
Okay, let's make this as quick as possible. I can't promise it won't be painful.
Saturday, during intermission, I was retouching my make up (shut up) in the mirror when the swishy queen (Doug?) who works at the theatre- I don't know what he does, beyond being the swishy queen - comes up to me to inform me (as he leans in way too close to me and speaks in his best creepy homosexual uncle-I've-got-something-in-my-pocket-for-you voice): "Those girls on the first row house left want to meet you after the show, they think you're hot...if you're interested in that sort of thing." (His tone implying he kind of hopes I'm NOT interested in that sort of thing). Um, thanks, right. Me in my underwear during Once In A While will dispel all that.
But I'm glad he gave me the warning. Cause sure enough, after the show, during the meet and greet, here come the two little punky gothy pierced princesses. And I say:

Me: Hope you enjoyed the show

Blonde Pierced Punky Girl: We did, you phantoms were great and I got molested by a bunch of you. But not you. And my friend here didn't get molested at all.

Me: (looking for anyone else in the cast to save me, none are present) Um, well, yeah, most of my stuff's on the other side of the stage. But we got held over, so come back next week, right.

Blonde Pierced Punky Girl: My friend has something to ask you (nudges friend forward) Ask him!

Brunette Pierced Punky Girl: (dead serious stare) You're hot. Wanna fuck?

Me: (the pause that goes here is worthy of the most uncomfortable moments on The Office or Curb Your Enthusiasm) Um, er, I, well, hmm, ahh, did, did you. Ha. Oh, I, er.......I don't know what to say to that.

Brunette Pierced Punky Girl: (says something else but at this point I'm not a phantom, or even Josh in a corset...I'm looking and swaying and all my ticks and quirks are showing themselves: air piano, ear pull, the works...and I keep waiting for the signal that says..."Ha. Ha. Aren't I funny and bold. Really enjoyed the show"....and it never comes) I have no memory of just how I managed to slip away, what lame joke I used to escape.

This isn't like, check out my groupies, aren't I a bad ass....it's not even look at me freak out....but it was by far the strangest meet and greet I've done since the show opened.

Tammy, later that evening, said, "I'm glad you didn't go with them. That girl was kissing Elton earlier."

Ugh. Yeah, I wouldn't want to be in the same swimming pool with Elton, let alone....

But that's the funny thing, I never even really took a good look at either of them. They were kind of just these menacing cardboard cut outs.