Shoot, Coward, You'll Only Kill A Man

I'm frayed. I'm tired of looking in the barrel of the gun. The fear of looking stupid in front of an audience.
The grinding of teeth, the biting of tongues. I'm just bored with it. At least once we open this weekend for good or for ill -- there'll be something new to think about. The problem is not letting all the noise and bullshit infect me while I'm on stage. Even as various parts of the show fall down around me and others -- we all have to maintain like we are badass. I'm trying. But the ebb and flow of some of the people around me makes it hard.

"Wipe that face off your head, bitch." That's what I'd like to say to Jenn K. Every time I look over at that cunt, she's got this horrible baboon scowl on her face. I was amusing myself and others yesterday mimicking her. Of course you look confused, that's what happens when you miss three rehearsals on tech week. Stupid. Fucking. Cunt. Bitch. Bastard. Fuck.

On a somewhat brighter note -- I'm going to have the elite people from the cast over (Friday, Saturday?) for, well, I'm calling it a gathering, not a party. Gina and Geoff are coming down, and Kevin and Megan -- so it should be fun. And my friends Kevin and Marcie are going to come as well. I invited the members of the cast that I think are pretty cool. I don't know who will show up -- but even if it's just Gina and Marcie and Megan and Kevin and Geoff and Kevin -- that's good times. But I think some people will at least stop by. I just hope they can keep it on the DL.

Actually, what do I care -- it's not a cast party -- it's me inviting friends over -- fuck everyone else. And fuck their mothers too.

Well, I'm off to lunch. I'm sure I'll end up multi-blogging today. Keep your eyes open, those of you that check in on me from time to time.