Okay, so far, I'm not a fan of AmSouth training. Alone. At a desk. Independent. Self paced. Test. After test. After test. Staring at a computer screen for three hours straight (I have nothing but loathing for the fact that tomorrow I'll be in that plain as milk room for eight hours). Our trainer, you ask? She's a voice that comes to us every once in a while from speaker phone...from Jacksonville. For physical contact there are a few HR people floating around. HR people always look and act real busy -- but you know that they don't have shit to do. I took five tests today -- don't ask me about what -- great training, huh? -- I failed each of these tests three times before finally passing them -- so by that fourth chance, I recognized some of the questions (although I will say that each test was a tricky fucker for throwing new questions in - or rearranging old questions, rewording them, bastards, so it was always a mixed bag). But by the fourth time around I always seemed to be able to retain what I needed...to pass the test anyway. If anyone asked me about any of it this second, I doubt they'd like my answers.
Subject change: Isn't it funny how you can suddenly and without warning just start to dislike a friend of yours? I bring it up because I having issues with someone in Oedipus, a person I use to really like and think was cool -- now, this person annoys the pure shit out of me. And not in a small way...in such a way that I barely have any tolerance for them and I keep thinking about saying something horrible...using a killswitch on the friendship. Not that I would...too much bullshit to deal with, too many rehearsals left, gotta put the greater good above my petty personality conflict. But it is strange to me...a complete 180 degree turn. And it's not like a, maybe just downgrade this person to 'small doses/long orbit' friendship -- I seriously think that I after Oedipus is over and done with that I don't want anything to do with them anynore. I want to change my mind - but I don't think that I will.
Which somehow got me thinking about my infamous toxic friend from high school, Martin. Martin was funny and cool but there was just something...I don't know...something like a black hole around him. Not that he was negative -- not about himself, Martin was loaded with self confidence about his abilities and talents. It was more like...he just kind of drained at you (me). Kicked the chair out from under my opinions, feelings....until I was really just this extention of his thoughts and attitudes...Martin-Lite. 'Old Cottonhead', that's what my Mom use to call him. I can remember her calling him that the night Martin and me both dropped acid and spent three hours talking to her about BellSouth (my Mom is an operator....and Martin was - is? - a hacker). I never had it out with him or anything...when we stopped being friends (we had stopped being friends long before we stopped hanging out)...I just...avoided him. I didn't know then and I still don't know now: How do you tell someone that you don't want to be their friend? It's fucked up. I can still remember Martin's handle -- Kubiak -- and all those other guys and their fucking code names -- B_ -- Kobayashi -- Sirlance -- Red Dragon -- weird for that to pop into my head just now...ha-ha...Beyond HOPE 1997...
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