Monday, March 07, 2005

WTF?: Laserbeams. 75 ML Of Urine. Puppy Dogs. Moliere. The Corey Feldman Of Queens. Stolen Ice.

It's been....forever. Since we last spoke I've seen a friend get his cornea sliced open with a razor, seen another friend rule all over the world in Scapin, seen my sister in all her puppy-mother glory, and still had time for ice cream and drag queens....the world sometimes gives us just what we want.

-- if you ever get the chance to watch someone's laser surgery -- do it -- say yes -- it is awesome, it is worth getting up at six am to be ready to be at their house by 7:15 so they can have their eyes cut into by ten past eight. You can check out David's link to see that he's doing well now -- but I felt so sorry for him during our car ride back to his house -- it's been cloudy and overcast for days -- but Friday was crisp and bright and painful for David's eyes -- he had these huge, wet, fat tears rolling down his face and his Tom Cruise Top Gun Wrap Around Shades weren't much use -- man, he was loopy by the time he stumbled off to dreamland.

-- I'm going to ask you all now to try and see Scapin at The Rep this upcoming weekend. I knew nothing about the show going into it -- just that Todd was in it -- and it was great -- Todd does such a good job in this show -- I was so proud of him -- the show was really funny and silly and strange -- and all the characters got to wear these beautiful masks -- everyone should try to catch it -- Todd is going to fucking soar at UCF's program, I believe -- I think he may have been a little unsure to be up there with so many graduate students -- But Amber and I both agreed and told him: undergraduate, graduate, whatever.....he belonged up there and all the hard work he's put into the show paid off -- Please check it out, only one weekend to go.

They only needed 45 ML of urine at LabCore. I gave them 75. What is it about a piss test that you know is no problem and clean....that makes me want to put a bunch of awful shit into my body? Hmm. Moving on...

What's wrong with people? Really. Even though I believe in some form of....karmic (that's not quite the right word but it's close enough for all of you to hop onboard)....karmic....umm....justice. Certain behavior bringing about the eventual dropping of the other shoe (punishment, musical chairs, all fall down). I find myself frustrated and annoyed that too often in my life I can't be the Shoe Dropper....that I have to blindly trust to some invisible, semi-divine, cosmic wheel....that tells me the rude and the unjust will sooner rather than later find their hamstrings cut. Logic would say...a person can only be a rude idiot just sooooooo long.....before forces and energies of a galactic nature can't bear the weight of them and to balance things out they must be taken out of play...or at least down a peg. Odin smiles. Anubis weights. Pan dances. Kali wets her hands. Some Aztec god with a name forty syllables long spreads his feathers. Time up. Pay the man. Or maybe that's, Pay The Man. And maybe it's not for us to be The Shoe Dropper on every evil, idiot fucker that annoys us....maybe those are the rules....but maybe we are given the Shoe Dropping power at other times, to serve and help other people.

Me and Sarah and Jeff are at Parliment House last night. We do a little loop and decide to watch the Drag Show. Sunday. Free. Crowded as a motherfucker with queens out to suck up the last bit of the weekend. The three of us stand in the back, near a table. Territory marked. We all have drinks. That's important. So, these two vaguely spanish, very young little things flit in and land near our table. Desperate Houseflies. One we'll call Corey Feldman and the other well, he doesn't get a name. Okay, it's crowded. no big deal. Yet. We notice that Corey has half a dozen Lance Armstrong (and other colors) type bracelets. Support the troops, tsunami relief, cancer, AIDS....but it turns out that he doesn't know what half of them are for....just trying to make a little rainbow. I know this because Jeff and Sarah ask him about them. He slurs something back. Then....casual and bold as a motherfucker....he REACHES INTO SARAH'S CUP AND TAKES ONE OF HER ICE CUBES AND POPS IT IN HIS MOUTH!!! What the fuck? Hello, Corey Fucking Feldman, do I know you, do I know your Mom? What the fuck? So after a little confused talk between the three of us....we call him on it....and he says, simply enough, with a lot of extra Ssssss, "I like ice." Maybe he's high, I don't give a fuck....who fucking does that? And as is always the case with idiots like this....Corey Feldman and his boy toy kept throwing Jeff, Sarah, and me dirty looks that we were the assholes of the world. Maybe I'm in a weird place right now, maybe I'm being too....male or something....but I wanted to beat the living shit out of both of them, Deadwood style....pummel them until they were choking. Through a swift and over the top act of violence, send the two of them on a trajectory in their lives where, if nothing else, they would know how melt into the background and be invisible at a fucking drag show. Though ice theft was the worst of their crimes, the two little fuckers were rude in other ways as well -- smoking and not just smoking, waiting until the fucking House Queen asked someone else not to smoke before even lighting up -- and constantly coming and going, coming and going (remember, it's crowded and there are people behind us who want to see the show too).

This is my last week of unemployment. Trying to get some stuff done around the house. Cleaning. Throwing some stuff out. Moving Sarah's stuff back over here. Where to put it all?

Tonight is Oedipus rehearsal. No Anna, though. She's opening Arcadia at Mad Cow this week. John finally passed out scripts to us on Saturday, we're going to be blocking each episode this week. By Wednesday we should also be getting the Choral Odes. I think by the end of this week the skeletal structure of the show will be firmly in place. Then it's layer cake....level after level....until we open. Excited. Nervous.

I feel kind of strange that after Oedipus....I don't have anything lined up. I've been involved in a show since last July. MSG. Rocky Horror. 1940s Radio Hour. Into The Woods. Oedipus. Oedipus is only the 13th show i've ever done.

Lysistrata --- Spartan Herald
Private Lives --- Elyot Chase
Musical Comedy Murders Of 1940 --- Eddie McCuen
The Grapes Of Wrath --- Connie Rivers
Stagedoor --- Jimmy Deveroux / Billy The Photographer
The Rocky Horror Show --- Phantom
Wages --- Joey Adams
Noises Off --- Garry/Roger
MSG --- Mozart
The Rocky Horror Show --- Phantom
The 1940s Radio Hour --- Wally Fergusson
Into The Woods --- Milky White
Oedipus --- Greek Chorus

Strange, it feels like I've done more, been doing this longer. And five of these shows have happened in the last nine months.

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