Middle Of Nowhere.

I've taken my eyes out.
Everything in my room is fuzzy, vague.
No definitions.
Up, dwelling...
Playing sad music on my computer.
Thank God I haven't downloaded any Billie Holiday.
I posted to ten jobs today online.
All of them pay better.
Don't know if I'll hear from any of them.
Don't know if I'd want any of them.
I work Friday through Tuesday.
The windows are open.
Long orbits, no gravity.
Starlets and smiles and dirty dishes and concert posters.
My heart is in my mouth.
My heart is in my mouth.
My heart is in my mouth.
My heart is in my mouth.
My heart is in my mouth.
I have a species of intelligence but I'm not actually very smart.
Or articulate.
Sometimes I understand what people are talking about.
And sometimes I just nod my head.
I run my mouth too much.
Cuthbert. Cuthbert. Cuthbert.
Rook. Rook. Rook.
Eddie Dean.
Babble. Joke. Laughter is an opiate.
Humor hard currency.
Most people I know aren't as funny as they think they are.
But I'll laugh at their jokes anyway.
What do I know?
Maybe they ARE really funny.
Circles and feints and riddles and blather.
Hogwash.
Found this old journal - no not a journal - there's just this random stuff written in it - movie quotes, Bible verses, famous quotes, inside jokes and odd catchphrases that I don't understand anymore - here's some of it
(this stuff is, like, from as far back as 1996):
Cool Hand.
Madcap.
Sweet Frost.
Drop Sam Colt.
Run Fast. Stand Still.
I hate them with perfect hatred, I count them my enemies.
Gusto.
Spunk.
Moxie.
Getting There.
I don't care what they do as long as they use some tickets.
You're acting like a mad dog.
Threading needles, can you do it?
Froggish?
He pointed at me and said, 'Live Forever!'
Phoney.
Not likely.
There were giants in the earth in those days.
Lost causes, sick puppies, everyone out of the pool.
Anyone for tennis?
You do this right, I'll get you an old dog to kick.
Anarchy. Helter Skelter.
There ain't no ocean and there ain't no way.
It already happened.
Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions;
reality can only be attained by someone who is detached.
It says humble.
Chance favors the prepared mind.
Doc Holiday. Crazy Horse. Giddyup.
What you say tempts me.
Damn skippy.
But the ticket, take the ride.
Knock down, drag out.
Nobody hates a proud man like a proud man.
Run.
Yell.
Jump.
Make the bastard chase you.
That's the rumor.
Super Fine!
They told me it was grape Kool-Aid and i only had one sip.
More ____ Than Most.
Chop Wood, Carry Water.
No matter how much you shake and prance...the last two drops go in your pants.
Steak Dinner.
You're won this round.
Clocktowers, regulators, BellSouth.
Tet, the Year of the Monkey.
I'd like to thank the whole motherfucking back row!
Take one for the team.
If you print that, I'll sue you for everything you own.
Chickie Chick. Chickie Babe. Super Chick. Super Babe.
When I die, I'll let you eat my brains, they'll give you powers.
That's a shame.
The Big X. The Cooler King.
Yoinks and Away.
He might be Teddy Roosevelt - but he ain't.
Loose Cannon.
Another jibe - another joke at my expense.
Reckless Eyeballing.
People who must be shanked.
Turn him/her/it/them Out.
Eat A Bowl Of Fuck.
Good to Drive.
Stupid Bench!!!!!
You never _____, no never again.
Dip Dip Creep Creep, Shoot Me Out The Cannon.
I'm unruly.
I gotta step-dip.
Belly Say ____.

There's more of this weirdness but I thought I'd leave you with something to make Amber laugh...I give you...

The Sexy Song

If you want some,
Come and get some.
Cause you KNOW my body is so firm.
And you cannot deny
That when you look at me
Your thoughts become filled with obsenities
I know I'm so fine.
And you cannot resist,
But to kiss me
On my sexy lips.