This Is The Blog Post That Will Change The World

But probably not. Hopefully not. None of them will. Ever.

That's the way I like it.That's what I'm aiming for. If you can aim for something without putting any effort into the process. Useless, leftover baggage. Pointless, meandering, self indulgent tripe. Surveys! (I prefer to call them Quizzes). Blathering. Scan for YOUR NAME HERE. Gaze into the madness and lameness of my belly button.

My motto is: If it's not fun, fuck it.

And any good time wasting activity should be fun - for someone.

I kid, I joke, take none of it as gospel. I'm just amusing myself. Moving on.

Bring me the brown one, he amuses me. Let him pay for his crimes. Yes, that insolent one on the left: SEIZE HIM!
SEIZE HIM YOU FOOLS, HE'S GETTING AWAY!!

Udder Boredom ---

I wish there was a way I could deconstruct Milky White and put her back together in my own image. Moo. Groan. Moo. Milking. Die. Back to Life. Moo. The End. Let me throw in three dozen, 'Yawns Under Horrible Ugly Cow Head'. Oddly, enough, I'm not as bitter as that makes me sound. With most of my worry and concern going to finding a job -- I don't have a lot of time to be truly filled with stupid righteous anger about ITW. It is what it is. It'll be a cute, fun show for those who see it. Whether or not the person in the cow costume is having a good time won't derail anything. Remember on that first South Park, where the aliens are talking to the cows: Moomoo Moo moo Moomoomoo. Moo.

Oh well, whatever, nevermind ---

Since seeing Nirvanov (wow, officially, last month - my unemployment has made all the days bleed together) I've had a serious jones to listen to to Nirvana Unplugged In New York. Actually, to listen to any of their music. And I also kinda wish I knew someone who illegally bootlegged a performance of Nirvanov. Those songs need to be played as well. Which, for whatever reason leads me to the thought of that DJ, Danger Mouse, who did that mix of Jay-Z's The Black Album and The Beatles' The White Album - and although I've never heard it, I want to own it. It was called The Gray Album and it's been banned - he didn't have anyone's permission.

Insert clever Latin phrase here ---

Can anyone tell me why the Men's Restrooms in Borders (in Winter Park) and in Barnes & Noble (on Colonial) are the fucking filthy-horrible-Dane Cook bit-touch-nothing-with-your-hands dirtiest public bathrooms this side of a South Carolina truckstop? Are the women's restrooms this bad? The Men's Room in both of these stores screams - "YOU ARE IN A SHIT HOLE BATHROOM IN A BUS TERMINAL WHERE YOU WILL BE SHANKED FROM CROTCH TO BREASTBONE FOR YOUR LAST NICKEL, RIGHT AFTER YOU'RE FORCED TO PERFORM FELLATIO ON A COLORFUL CHARACTER WHO CALLS HIMSELF - BARRIO MAN - " Just a queston for the group.

WOULD YOU RATHER...

1) WYR....lose your teeth or your testicles (or, for the ladies in the house, let's say, clitoris)?

Tough right off the bat. Hard choice but I'm going to say teeth.

2) WYR....lose your non-writing hand or an eye (either one)?

An eye. I could get a bunch of cool glass eyes like that guy in The Last Action Hero.

3) WYR....travel to the future or to the past?

The past. Maybe somewhere between 1920 & 1950

4) WYR....kill a neighbor or kill a neighbor's pet?

Shhhhhhhh. Goodnight, Joan (as I lay the pillow gently over her face)

5) WYR....burn an American flag or turn a fire hose on that pinko burning an American flag?

I'll burn a flag. I have guilt over never doing anything worthy of having a fire hose turned on me. Cause, God, knows, if you're getting a hose turned on you - you're doing something bold - for good or for ill.

6) WYR....peer into the mouth of a volcano or peer into the abyss of an underwater trench (proper gear provided for both ventures, of course, not just in your skivvies)

No deep sea diving for me. Volcano, please.

7) WYR....be a hero or a villian?

I'm probably a villian who thinks he's a hero -- the worst kind.

8) WYR....be abducted by aliens or kidnapped by Bigfoot (or you can say The Loch Ness Monster instead of Big Foot if you're more comfortable with Nessie)?

After watching Eegah! on MST3K - I think I'll take aliens over Bigfoot (or other caveman types)

9) WYR....fight a bear with a knife or fight a gorilla with a slightly larger knife (no knife more than, say, ten inches long - but as to tactics - you're the Homo Sapien - use that brain)?

I would fight the bear -- so I could use the Anthony Hopkins' line from The Edge - "I'm-a gonna kill the motherfucker." Fuck you, bear.

10) WYR....be a spy or an assassin?

Umm. It'd be fun to be a spy. Even as it's most prosaic - it's not all James Bond - hell, it's probably not even all John Le Carre - but - come on, a spy's most boring day ever STILL has to be fairly exciting.


BREATHE

Thanks to Kris for telling me about this yoga show on Oxygen called, Inhale. When I got up this morning I had an episode in my FreeVo and I unrolled the mat and followed along. I liked it. Yoga heavy week for me, candlelight yoga last night and tomorrow night (I'm not needed at rehearsal on Wednesday) and this show today. Physically, I feel good.

Except for these headaches I've been getting. Both Sarah and Jeff said it sounds like a migraine - my stomach actually hurt, like I wanted to throw up - even with the shades drawn, the light was too bright - sharp needle-like pain in my temples, eyes - dull, roaring ache in neck and shoulders - plus, over the last couple of weeks, I can 'feel' them coming on - like, I say to myself - here comes one of those headaches and sure enough - boom. I don't even like typing the word migraine. It's silly - but I feel like if I call them that - then that's what they'll be - like, I should never give them a proper name, it'll only give them more power. They're just headaches. Nothing special about them. La - dee - da.

Anyway, I feel good now - no trouble in sight. I have a job interview Thursday morning. We'll see how that goes.
No word yet from Oedipus. The audition was just this Sunday and already it feels like a long time ago, weird.