It's A Third Nipple. It Gets Hard. It's Awesome.

Just need to type a little. It's the begining of October. I'm in a show at Theatre Downtown again. I have both a computer and a beard. I'm full of my usual unease. I can't relax but I can enjoy riding on the plasma car at work. I should be asleep - but I feel a compulsion to write. Even this trite shit. I'm confused and annoyed. And it's most likely my fault I'm in that state. I have glowing glyphs for Confusion and Annoyance circling around my head. Gnats. A tourney of gnats. Totems. Burning bridges, having fun. I have fun everywhere I go. You have to make your own fun. Ad lib. Did you witness this miracle, Mrs. Clemm? Blue flowers. There's a certain laugh that just makes my brain go supernova. Certain smiles. There are certain patterns, shapes...moments where I wish I was some other version of myself - The Josh From The Universe Next Door - He'd know what to do, have a plan, some prospects, a future. He'd be alive and glowing. He'd burn brightly. There would always be an Answer, a Snappy Comeback - there would be confidence oozing off of him in radioactive purple waves. He would smile and people would feel like the Ape touching the Monolith. These tapir bones would make good weapons. I'm really an anorexic girl, looking in the mirror - all I can see are flaws. I can't hear the laughter, I just hear the gaps in it. I never want to answer my phone. I never want to stop. I don't want to be here. I'm not in love with my illness. It's two in the morning...I'm having so much fun I'm getting a nosebleed. Be bold and mighty forces will come to your aid. Fuck the Josh From The Universe Next Door...I never liked that guy anyway. Bet he doesn't have a sweet beard like this....