Thursday, May 12, 2005

Janet Jackson Presents: "If, A Quiz"

If a was a scientist...I'd invent something useful, like, Batman's anti-shark spray.

If I was a farmer...I'd still be pissed about Daylight Savings Time.

If I was a musician...I'd get my picture on the cover of The Rolling Stone.

If I was a doctor...I'd model all my behavior after Dr. Cox from Scrubs.

If I was a painter...I'd want to collaborate with SHAG.

If I was a gardener...I'd be one of those boring people with a green thumb who are way too excited by plants.

If I was a missionary...I'd probably 'go native' where ever I was sent and end up fighting Indiana Jones on a rope bridge over a crocodile infested river.

If I was a chef...I'd be famous for JOSH'S SIXGUN BEE-STING HALLUCINOGENIC DEAD-BY-MORNING CHILI

If I was an architect...I don't know, people would always be impressed when I told them what I did for a living, I guess.

If I was a linguist...Marcie already used the best joke here, so moving on...

If I was a psychologist...Could I prescribe Zoloft for myself?...

If I was a librarian...I'd buy a pair of those Not Sexy But Sexy Librarian Glasses to wear.

If I was an athelete...I'd be pumped full of illegal drugs.

If I was a lawyer...I'd be an ass.

If I was an inn-keeper...I'd be in a fantasy novel and there'd be hobbits and orcs and trolls running around.

If I was a professor...I get tenure and not do shit.

If I was a writer...I'd write the fantasy novel that's rolling around in my mind.

If I was a llama-rider...I'd be one of a kind.

If I was a bonnie pirate...I'd say things like, "Good job, Wesley, I'll most likely kill you in the morning."

If I was an astronaut...I'd wanna go to Mars.

If I was a world famous blogger...If I gave a shit about that kind of stuff, I'd be worried that this quiz wasn't 'important' enough to post or I'd write a long mea culpa about how the blog is draining my life force.

If I was a justice on any one court in the world...it'd be The People's Court.

If I was married to any current political figure...I'd run right out and get involved in a scandal.

3 comments:

thoroughlymodernmiri said...

The way you think is awesome. You are far from mediocre. Your posts are so entertaining. Never stop posting.

Alyson said...

If you continue having A/C troubles, I have a guy for you to contact, should you need repairs and not want to get fleeced.

Alyson said...

Sent info on A/C guy to the yahoo address in your profile...here's hoping that's still active...